NCJDDAS: Marriage Of The Daleks

Part Two to The Judi Dench Adventures Below!

Non Canon Judi Dench Doctor Adventures

Episode Two: Marriage Of The Daleks

Chapter One

The TARDIS’s groaning wheezing noise droned throughout the street.
The Doctor, wearing a black robe with silver highlights walked out, and the cloak draped around her.
“London, 2079.” said The Doctor, “A real bad year.” 

Kate smoothly glided out of the TARDIS, and Osgood rambled out behind her. 

“Golly! I’ve travelled in the TARDIS!” She Cheered. 

“What’s so bad about it?” asked the practical Kate. 

“Politicians, mainly.” said The Doctor.
“The TARDIS picked up a temporal breach in this time period, though, so I think
I’ll just patch that up with my screwdriver before we go on to a better year.” 

“I don’t know, it seems nice.” said Osgood.
“Close enough to our time," she continued, but still recognizably the future. You know?” 

“I’ve left my gun in the TARDIS, doctor.” Kate said. “Don’t want to tempt you after last time.”

“Aw! Come On!” squealed the Doctor. “Wait, no. I am a good person. I do not like guns.” 

“That’s lovely,” muttered Osgood, “Especially after whatever the hell you did last time.”

“Are we just gonna keep living in the past, or are we gonna seal up a temporal breach?
Come on, guys!” said the Doctor, in a tone of excitement that people her age rarely got. 

They turned on down the street.

Danny walked down the street, and entered the Pizza shop.

Upon entering, he was astounded.

“DANNY DEVITO, WE MEET AGAIN,” Said The Dalek.

“What the-” said Danny Devito, who was suddenly aware he was Danny Devito.

“HOW DARE YOU COME INTO THIS PLACE AGAIN, AFTER LAST TIME” The Dalek said 

Danny Devito was suddenly aware there was a strange trash can with a whisk and plunger
on it sitting in the middle of the pizzaria, flashing red lights out of its central girder,
and more lights blasted out of it’s two emitters on it’s dome. “...What? What are You?” he asked. 

“WHY, DANNY, IT’S YOUR EX-WIFE GLADYS.” said The Dalek. 

“...What the fuck?” said Danny Devito, suddenly aware that this dalek was his ex-wife.

“PLEASE. PLEASE LEAVE, BEFORE THE KIDS SEE YOU.”

Danny was suddenly aware that he had had children with this Dalek.
He turned, and walked out of the shop, and he ran.

Outside the Pizzaria, Kate stood there. 

“Mr. Danny Devito? It’s 2079, how are you alive exactly?”

“I don’t know.” said Danny Devito. “I’m Danny Devito.”

“Oh,” said Kate. “Well, The Doctor would like to give you a call. Please take this number.”

Kate reached out, with a strange sort of business card. It had a mild glow to it.

Danny devito cautiously took the card that Kate offered him, and strolled back to his apartment.

Danny lived alone. He arrived back at his apartment and slumped on the couch.
Who was he? Why was he here? He sat there, and thoughts that once seemed concrete
drifted out of his head, and he was suddenly aware that he was no longer Danny Devito,
and in fact, never was. “Huh.” He said.

He fingered Kate’s card in his hands, turning it over, and over, and over...

Chapter Two

Danny woke up and scarfed down his breakfast. Who was he? He couldn’t remember.
He just knew that he wasn’t Danny Devito. That was nice. Where did he work?
Everyone worked. Well, some people didn’t, but how could he then afford this apartment? 

He got out a laptop that he felt he always had, and opened a fictional search engine.

He searched:

‘The Doctor,’ and clicked Wikipedia.

The Doctor is a fictional character portrayed by Judi Dench in the television series
Doctor Who, created by Dench herself in the early sixties.
It follows the life of a time traveler initially portrayed by William Hartnell,
and has since been portrayed by thirty actors,
most famous of which are Tom Baker, David Tennant and Elizabeth Olsen.
Excluding Dench herself, who probably shouldn’t be old enough to-

Danny skimmed through it, curious. He found a later sub article.

1.7

The Conspiracy

There is evidence that Doctor Who might actually exist.
This includes a Dalek in a pond that we have no clue how it got there
and strange sightings of a police Box.
These are usually presumed to be fabricated by fans of the show,
but Dench stated, late in her acting career, that strange sightings
were the sort of things that inspired the show in the first place, stating that:
“There are so many wonderful things out there that people think about,
and if half of it was true, it would be such a crazy universe we live in.
Earth is bonkers enough, I think we can suspend some disbelief.
What if Doctor Who is real? I won’t deny it.” 

Danny thought to himself. No. It couldn’t be. He looked at the Doctor’s card, a faint glow now. 

POLICE PHONE BOX PUBLIC CALL
URGENT CALLS RESPOND FROM OFFICERS AND CARS PULL TO OPEN, it said.

Beneath That:

 The Doctor

555-1123-1963

It’s All Real. 

Danny looked at the card and for a moment, it was like he was a child opening a birthday present.
That sense of wonder, that sense of magic. Kate was right.

It had to be all real.

The Doctor and Osgood walked through the cold London streets.
“It’ll be Christmas soon.” Said The Doctor. “Twinge of Peppermint in the air.” 

Osgood looked around.
“Funny. Dingy brick alleyway." She said, "
Thought there wouldn’t be any of those in the future, it’d all be shiny and slick,
but I suppose that doesn’t make any sense, does it?”

“Alleyways are always where secrets are.” Said The Doctor.
“I’ve toppled three different regimes looking through dumpster cans.”

“Of course you have.” Muttered Osgood.

The Doctor Remodulated her screwdriver.
“Temporal Breach is this way!” She said, leading off into a different direction.

“Wait, where’s Kate?” Asked Osgood, suddenly aware of Kate’s absence.

The Doctor blinked, and turned back towards Osgood. 

“Osgood, this is a very serious question, have you just been noticing things?
Suddenly, inexplicably, things? Just, like you’re suddenly aware of something?” 

Osgood perked up. “yes, actually.” 

“Shit,” said the Doctor.

Chapter Three

There were three houses on the street. On the busy, crowded, London street,
there were three houses. It didn’t make sense, but it had always been that way.

Then there were two. Nothing had changed.

Danny frantically searched through his computer. “Kate Stewart”

Kate Stewart is a government figure from the early 2000s
that was adapted into use by Doctor Who as a historical figure.
She disappeared mysteriously, and then reappeared in strange circumstances
that have never been solved.
Unless she discovered time travel, but haha, that’d be a huge conspiracy 

Danny suddenly noticed wikipedia was being a lot less clinical than usual. 

He had the strange nerve to look outside. 

His was the only house on the street. And it had always been that way.
But Danny realized then, this was wrong. 

There were no houses on the street.

A Dalek ship hung above London.
There were no perception filters or anything, people just hadn’t bothered to look up.
Inside that ship, the Daleks planned, and one in particular had just used the transmat on Danny
and his house, accidentally transmatting the other houses on the street.

“THE EXPERIMENT IS COMPLETE,” the Dalek roared.
“TEST SUBJECT CODENAMED DANNY DEVITO HAS BEEN CAPTURED.
HIS BRAIN HAS BEEN MADE MALLEABLE.” 

Another Dalek rolled closer, across the honeycomb tiles of the spaceship.

“THEN HE IS IN THE PRISON BLOCK?”

“INDEED. HE STILL BELIEVES DALEK HANN IS HIS EX-WIFE.
HE IS BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE MIND-WIPING THAT MAKES HIM THINK
HE IS DANNY DEVITO. HE HAS NOT YET LOOKED IN A MIRROR AND
REALIZED HE LOOKS LIKE DANNY DEVITO.”
There was a Dalek chuckle as the other Dalek thought to itself. It was offensive to the ears.

“OH, THAT’LL BE GOOD.” 

The Two Daleks stood in silence.

“YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW WE COULD SIT BACK AND EAT POPCORN
AND WATCH PEOPLE SUFFER, AND THEN REALIZE
WE ARE OCTOPUS THINGS THAT ARE SITTING IN TANKS,
AND THEREFORE CANNOT EAT POPCORN, SO OF COURSE,
WE WILL HAVE TO SETTLE FOR WATCHING PEOPLE SUFFER?”

The Other Dalek’s dome moved in a way that might be construed as a nod.

“THE CLASSIC DALEK TRAIN OF THOUGHT.” It yelled. 

A third Dalek rolled in.

“DALEK SI AND DALEK KANG, REPORT.”
Said the third Dalek, painted in black, and with pieces of dull red adorning cloth hanging from it’s cone
like body. It’s eye stalk glowed a sickly yellow. It was the Supreme Dalek. 

“WE HAVE SPATIALLY REMOVED SOMEONE WE IDENTIFIED AS KATE STEWART
FROM THE CITY BELOW. WE ALSO DETECT THE HUMANS JUDI DENCH
AND PETRONELLA OSGOOD. TIMELINE WISE, THESE GUYS SHOULD BE DEAD.”

“JUDI DENCH IS A GREAT ACTRESS. WE SHOULD LEAVE HER BE.”
Said the Supreme Dalek. “NOW, WHAT ABOUT OSGOOD?” It voiced.

The other Daleks whined. “OH, DON’T BRING HER UP HERE,
SHE’LL JUST FANGIRL ABOUT HOW IT’S A REAL DALEK INVASION, THE IDIOT.”

“OKAY,” said the Supreme Dalek. “NOW, I’D LIKE TO HAVE SOME POPCORN.”

“WE’RE DALEKS.”

“OH.”

Below in the city, Osgood felt a drip of water on her head.
She looked up, and noticed, one, that the drip came from a loose pipe on the above building,
and two, that HOLY CRAP THERE IS A DALEK SPACESHIP HERE. 

“Doctor!” She called. “There are Daleks here!”
“Nonsense!” Said The Doctor, turning upwards and looking.
“Oh, my.” She said. Looking further, the Doctor only got more nervous.
“Look at those markings, Osgood.” She said. “It’s a time war ship!” 

Chapter Four

The Doctor whipped out her screwdriver, and with utter horror, took readings.

“Somehow, we exited the relative time stream and into the alternate universe
that exists on top of this one in which the time war took place!”

“What” said Osgood.

“Okay,” said the Doctor, taking a piece of paper out of her pocket and folding it in two. 

“This paper, is the same universe, right?”

“Got the analogy so far.”

“The time war took place at all times in every place in the universe, all throughout history.
At the end of the time war, when the Daleks were all wiped out,
I used my TARDIS to quantum lock the time war into a cordoned off alternate reality.
So, that way, although the time war took place during the Blitz,
one can visit the Blitz in my TARDIS, without entering the time war.” 

“What about the paper?”

“Shut up.” Said the Doctor.
“Somehow, after I regenerated and crashed the TARDIS,
I must have used it accidentally to enter this time zone, where the time war is happening!
Obscene experiments on the people of earth are happening here!” 

“What? What’s going on?”

“I dunno, Kate said somebody was going to call me eventually, and then left,
and I’m inferring all of these things about the time war!” 

Her phone buzzed. 

2 CALLS INCOMING, it said.

The Doctor hit a button that said answer both. She somehow kept up.

“Hello, Doctor,” Kate said, “I talked to someone about them needing to call you because somehow
Danny Devito is alive in 2079, and then I handed them your card, but then,
I’ve been beamed onto a Dalek ship, and I’m-“

The other call started talking on top of Kate.

“Hey, um, is this the Doctor? I don’t know who I am, but my ex wife Gladys is an alien robot
and I’m on a spaceship, and you’re the only number I have for some reason and I’m-“ 

The Doctor hung up on both of them. She turned to Osgood. 

“Hi, Osgood, we’re going to that Dalek spaceship.”

“What!” said Osgood. “Do you have a plan?”

“Nah,” said the Doctor. “I’m pretty sure I can asspull something.”

The Doctor said,
“so, because this is the time war, the fabric of space is inherently weaker.
I can use my sonic to link into a transmat beam, and-“

The Doctor and Osgood materialized into the Dalek ship. The Doctor span around.
“Wow, that worked, did I mention there was a 70% chance of us dying doing that?”

“WHAT” said Osgood, still the only voice of reason. 

“So, Osgood, I’ve figured it out from those phone calls.
At this point in the war, the Daleks are still figuring out temporal technology.
Beaming houses off streets and thus erasing them from existence, inserting themselves into
someone else’s timeline, and messing with the conception of someone to make them be born
looking literally exactly like Danny Devito. I bet they mindwiped him into thinking that,
for shits and giggles. It’s all early experiments in temporal technology. It’s them figuring things out.” 

“Brilliant!” Said Osgood. “You pieced that together quickly.” 

A Dalek rolled into the Room. 

“HEY,” it called out to the other Daleks.
“WHAT’S JUDI DENCH DOING IN HERE?
DID WE ALTER A HUMAN’S TIMELINE SO THEY LOOK LIKE JUDI DENCH?”

“Hi.” The doctor grinned evilly.

“Don’t.” Said Osgood.

“I’m the Doctor.” She smiled, walking towards them, stretching her legs like John Cleese doing yoga.
She didn’t stop smiling, but her eyes narrowed, and were like fire. 

“THE DOCTOR! IT IS THE DOCTOR!” The Dalek shrieked. 

“Yes, it is. Now, why don’t you run along, Dalek, and tell the others, tell all of them,
that I’m back in the time war, and now there are two of me.
And, Spoilers! Down the Line: You lose.”

The Dalek’s eyestalk tittered with worry. 

“And this regeneration I have, it makes me feel like taking no shits,
and blowing all of you miserable little Daleks to hell.
Do you like that idea, little Dalek? So, How about you go tell all of your friends,
that they’re gonna die, and I’m gonna do it.”
She yanked the Daleks gun out of its casing as it was about to fire.

“I’m going to beat you on my terms.” She growled.

The Daleks turned tail and ran. 

“Did you mean any of that?” Osgood asked.

“I may shoot them. My end goal is still to save lives. Daleks aren’t alive.
I’ve met maybe three in my entire life that have ever cared one iota, and they all blew up.
If there’s a Dalek in there that cares for any life other than its own, I’ll let it live.
But if not, I will save lives by wiping them out.”
The Doctor said. “I don’t know why this regeneration is violent, or if my next one is the Valeyard,
but trust me, all of my past lives, all of my conscience and concerns are into doing good here.
That’s what I’m going to do today.”

The Doctor and Osgood held hands and ran into the next hallway, and the next,
and down a corridor to another room. The Doctor hit the keypad and Kate walked out. 

“Doctor! It’s a trap!” Yelled Kate, as a Dalek gun fired. 

Chapter Five 

Kate stared, dumbfounded. She couldn’t believe it. The gun had blasted right into Osgood,
as the Dalek rolled forward, whirring menacingly. 

The eyestalk rotated towards her, and glared at her with all of the rage and fire from the depths of hell. 

EXTERMINATE. It said, filled with hate.

The Doctor looked at the Dalek with silent fury.

“I would condemn you, but it wouldn’t mean anything. It wouldn't change you.”

THAT, IS, CORRECT. The Dalek grated, reading it’s gunstalk to fire. 

The Doctor tapped her foot angrily. A blast caused the Dalek to fall over.

“Laser shoes.” she said, conspiratorially to Kate.
Kate demanded she take them off, and the Doctor handed them over to her,
like a sullen child who had her toys taken away. 

“Is Osgood Okay?” asked Kate, worried. 

“She’s in critical. I need you to get off the ship and take her to a hospital.
I’m going to find Danny, he’s the key to all of this.” The Doctor said authoritively.

“Gotcha.” said Kate, grabbing Osgood and moving off.

The Doctor got up, and her cape twirling around her, ran down the hallway to the next cell. 

Opening the cell, another Dalek rolled in, before the Doctor turned and slammed herself into the cell.
“I’m your prisoner, Dalek! You got me!” she said.
“Now, you have to monologue about your new evil plan!”

DANNY DEVITO IS THE PERFECT TOOL, it said.
WE WILL USE HIM TO PERFECT OUR CONTROL OVER REALITY.
AND HE, HE WILL BECOME OUR ULTIMATE WEAPON.

“You know, I’d be proper threatened if you weren’t talking about fucking Danny Devito.” 

THAT’S FAIR. said The Dalek. 

YOU WILL NOW BE EXTERMINATED. 

“Oh, I shouldn’t think so.” said The Doctor, relishing this.
“Because if you’re utilizing machinery in your dalek shells to alter the very fabric of reality,
and you’re still getting used to it, you’re unstable.
And liable to be far more distracted by a screwdriver.”

The Sonic Screwdriver rang out, and the Doctor slammed the Cell Door into The Dalek. 

IN THE NAME OF THE DALEK EMPIRE I COMMAND YOU TO STOP! EXTERMINATE!

The Doctor accessed a nearby control panel. 

“You know what’s the worst idea in the world? The Self Destruct Button.”
She slammed her fist into it, and casually walked over to the final cell, unlocking Danny. 

This was the Doctor. Danny thought. This has to be her. 

Danny was afraid, as flames swelled up around them, from every inch of the ship,
burning every single bit of the saucer up. 

He watched her, so old, far older than her appearance, which even that was bordering on elderly,
but she didn’t stop for one moment.
Running through the flames, accessing every panel with her strange wand.
Every time she did it, there were more flames.
He watched her, the woman filled with rage, calm, menacing rage, who was destroying every
single section of the entire ship, one panel at the time. 

This was when he knew she was invincible.

Epilogue: 

Kate Stewart stood by the hospital bed, watching Osgood, asleep, tied up to tubes,
and pumped full of chemicals she couldn’t even pronounce.
She was sure Osgood would, live, the medical technology was extraordinary.
But the tingling doubt, even though she was so sure, still existed,
and it hurt Kate for more than she could put into words.

The window outside showed a sky in shadow, covered by the gigantic saucer that lay
darkness over the city, and slowly, but surely, the light creeped in.
Like holes of light were shining through the shadow of the ship, and the longer she looked,
the more and more holes shined out, until the sky was so bright, with only a few pockets of shadow
cast by the ship, and then the ship was gone, and it was like the shadow had never been there.

Would the Doctor come back for them? Well, she had to, hadn’t she? Right?

Kate Stewart sat by the hospital bed, so certain, and so doubtful, as the sunset came over the horizon.
This had started as a joke, hadn’t it? Travel with the Doctor, see funny things,
keep crazy woman in check? It didn’t feel funny anymore. Kate didn’t feel certain either.

The Doctor stood on the pavement with Danny as he looked up at the glowing sky. 

“It’s over.” she said. “What’s your name, Danny? You should be able to remember it, now.
The interference is gone, no more Dalek Ex-Wives.” 

“Danny...Danny…” he muttered. “I can’t remember.” 

“Eh.” said The Doctor. “It’ll come to ya. In the meantime, you alright? You- mentally stable?
You no longer look like Danny Devito by the way.”
A young Danny investigated his new flowing brown hair.

“Huh. What about you? You stable?” asked Danny.

“Oh, definitely not.” said The Doctor. “I’m bloody bonkers.” 

‘The way you beat them, you- you didn’t stop for a moment.”

“I know how to take down Time War Ships. Especially the early models. I did it a lot, back then.” 

“What’s the Time War?”

“Oh, it was a thing. Real, bad thing.
Those Dalek buddies against people like me, did stuff like this, badda bing, badda bang,
both sides wiped out, except not really, except really, for one of them later, maybe-
wibbily wobbily crap.” She paused. “I thought I was over it.” 

‘Yeah, and are you?” asked Danny.

“I'm really, really not. It keeps coming back, one way or another.” 

“I’m sorry.” said Danny.

“Oh, it’s fine.” said The Doctor, clearly lying. 

“It’s just, when I first met you, talking to you on the phone, you seemed kind… of joyous.”

“I’ve lived longer than most Time Lords should. My regenerations are overlapping.
Mood swings because of all my previous personalities. Wait, you probably don’t get that, um-”

“I understand mood swings.” said Danny. 

The Doctor smiled sadly. 

“I’m leaving Kate and Osgood here for a bit. They need to heal. I’ll be back.
Definitely in this regeneration too, I don’t wanna pull a Susan.” 

“Doctor, you talk bonkers.”

“Well, I saw you back there, Danny. You’re smart.
You’re smart enough to be scared of me, of what I can do, but you were so clearly in awe.
I wanna see that again. Come on.”

The Doctor led Danny into a blue box on the street corner, and as they entered,
“It’s bigger on the inside!” echoed into the dark black night, as a shooting star passed by.

The End

This Story (Hypothetically) Starred
Dame Judi Dench as The Doctor
Jemma Redgrave as Kate Stewart
Ingrid Oliver as Osgood
Danny Devito as Danny
with Nicholas Briggs as The Daleks
and Dame Maggie Smith as Agnes The Dalek