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Showing posts from December, 2019

NCJDDAS: The Regeneration

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I’m going to try something new. Here’s an original short story, it’s written to be funny and sort of terrible and without pacing. Enjoy! Non Canon Judi Dench Doctor Adventures  The Regeneration Chapter One “Ahh!” Said The Doctor as the TARDIS crashed. “now, it’s time for my last words: before I regenerate!”  The doctor winced in pain. She cried out. “Bollocks!” The TARDIS crashed into a backyard. Out climbed an Old Woman, who looked exactly like Judi Dench. “Ah, I look like Judi Dench.” She said. A Man walked up to her. “Who’s Judi Dench?” He asked.  “Oh, wait.” The doctor climbed back into the TARDIS and dematerialized before rematerializing a few seconds later. “So, evidently I am Judi Dench.” The Doctor Said. “That took a really long time, doing her entire acting career. God, that was fun, I am great. But who’s the real question. How did I know Who Judi Dench was? If I am Judi Dench?” The Man stood there, still blinking.  “Oh, Hi.” The doctor said. “T

Diary of River Song 4

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Time In A Bottle By Matt Fitton and Emma Reeves Terrible. This story gives us good ideas, like a world without time, and then does nothing with them. No, this one’s real cardinal sin is being one of the most boring listens produced by Big Finish. It’s that bad. Hello Sweetie: River at least doesn’t seem as bored with the script as I am.  Overall: Despite introducing some okay side characters/companions for River, it introduces some crap villains called the Discordia which plague this box set. 4/10 Kings Of Infinite Space By Donald McLeary A semi boring script with a fantastic ending, this is an attempt to recreate ‘The Chase’ on audio, not even one of the best Hartnell stories. Set Four is plagued by these characters, and is more arc based than any other set in the series, to it’s own downfall. We visit like six different alien world's, none of which feel alien or make an impression, and it’s kind of not that great. I also like the Hamlet reference of a title. Just

Diary Of River Song 3

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The Lady In The Lake By Nev Fountain Arguably more of a sucker punch than 5:29, Lady In The Lake will soutee your organs and have you emotionally die in agony. It’s a different beast from 5:29, but that’s its closest allegory, and it just feels like screaming in your ear for fifty minutes at times. Not that there’s actual screaming. Emotional screaming.  Hello Sweetie: Are you more emotionally damaged than River is? Is she more emotionally damaged than you? It’s a flip of a coin! I will admit one thing… This is an expertly produced and well written production in which Alex Kingston is phenomenal. Highlight the spot after my score for my real score if you’re curious. Overall: Enjoy having your brain pulled out through your ears. This is one of those River stories. Emotional Depression/10. 9/10 A Requiem For The Doctor by Jaqueline Rayner  A Requiem For The Doctor is a break after the soul crushing Lady In The Lake and is more of a palate cleanser/the most average Who

Doom Coalition 4

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Ship In A Bottle By John Dorney Ship in A Bottle is actually not that good, which is a rarity for two or three-hander audios. The stakes are as high as they can be, and Ship In The Bottle would be Fine- if it wasn’t for the fact that it feels irrelevant due to the fact that the stakes are so high. There is some pretty good character work in it, and Helen and Liv are getting really close for some glorious reason. But ultimately, ship in the Bottle is nothing to write home about.  Bring Me Knitting: I love this Doctor. He’s pretty much pitch perfect at this point. The Eighth Doctor is usually best at his rawest, and he’s pretty good here.  Liv is Perfect: The episodes best moment is Liv really going at the Doctor for him vamoosing during the Crucible Of Souls. It’s exactly what the audience was thinking.  For once, as the audience, we are the companions perspective. Why did eight leave? We don’t know, and it’s brilliant that we don’t. We have to guess at his character.  A

Fires Of Vulcan

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The Fires Of Vulcan by Steve Lyons  Ah, another Pure Historical. Without Evelyn, these usually fail to click with me.  And Seven never rrrr-really seemed like a historical doctor to me, but what do you know, because the Fires Of Vulcan is exquisite. Not a perfect story, of course, but nonetheless exquisite. It never fails to shock me with what early Big Finish got away with on audio. This probably isn’t the story to mention that, but stories like Master push the fold. It’s almost as if Big Finish realized they had a mostly adult niche audience In their early days. Although it’s subtle (in parts), there’s plenty of heavy themes going around here. There’s something dismal about this story… not Holy Terror dismal or Jubilee dismal, no, rather foreboding. It’s television counterpart, Fires Of Pompeii, seemed to miss that bit.  Unlimited Rice Pudding: Sylvester McCoy can be uneven for me on audio, especially in recent stories, like Eye of The Storm or The Split Infinitive. Luckil

The Time Of The Daleks

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The Time of The Daleks by Justin Richards Must I talk about this one? It’s crap. The story has a fondness for Shakespeare, and has Shakespeare quoting Daleks, but that’s it. Everyone runs around for two hours being useless. It’s important to the story arc, so you can’t exactly skip it, but you can’t exactly like it either. The guest stars are effortlessly stupid as well. Bring Me Knitting: Paul Mcgann is as bored with the script as I am.  Charlie Pollard, Edwardian Adventuress: The second most interesting thing about the script is the fact that the story is a stable time loop due to Charlie mucking about with the timelines by existing. Unfortunately this is not really utilized well, like everything in the story. The Monsters: The Daleks are awesome, but after having at least 147 combined audio and television appearances, last I checked, there isn’t much left for them to do, especially when your story is already so mindless. A story has to work to justify using the Daleks n

Spare Parts

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Spare Parts by Marc Platt Based on this stories reputation, I assumed this story was literally Jesus.  I'm not trying to disparage Spare Parts. It’s rather exquisite, and easily the second best Doctor Who Cybermen origin, next to TVs World Enough and Time.  That being said, it was built up so much for me that it couldn’t help but give me a sense of disappointment.  That and knowing what was going to happen to Yvonne and her family. My problems with Spare Parts mostly amount to what doesn’t work for me in particular. On Paper, it's perfect. A cyberman origin story that delves into the body horror that makes them such good villains. If anything...it’s just not twisted enough. Don’t get me wrong, It’s rather messed up, and I utterly adore the scenes at Yvonne’s house with the Cyberman and them trying to show him the Christmas tree and help him remember. It ultimately should have gone further with this story. The cyberman’s origin is miserable and in my opinion, m