Classic Who Judi Dench Covers

 






Phantom of Fang Rock:

Nikki Moniyhan runs a ghost tour. It's starting to get a little bit popular, but not by much - the ghost boat trip to the cursed island of Fang Rock, where long ago, the entire inhabitants of the island disappeared without a trace... Except there is a trace, isn't there? The Rutans, devilish creatures from outer space landed on the island and wiped it all out in their interstellar battle with the clone race Sontarans. It sounds all sorts of rubbish. But Nikki knows it's true - because a ghost told her. A ghost that told her that they're all coming back - they'll all be returning to the island soon enough, and Nikki and her tours need to leave. A ghost called the Doctor... 


The Crappiness Patrol:

The White Guardian entrusts Doctor Who with a task!! The deadly forces of evil have returned to planets the Doctor has visited before, and the only way to stop them, is by assembling the six segments of the Garage Door Opener of Time! Having achieved the first segment from Fang Rock, the Doctor sets off on her quest! But When the Doctor arrives on the planet that the Happiness Patrol was on (is it Earth? is it another planet oh my god I have no idea) she begins to notice the problematic pattern of sequels with diminishing returns. Can the Doctor have another interesting story involving the Kandyman and Definitely Not Margaret Thatcher?? Or is it doomed to be a desperate retread merely made as an inane attempt for more cash? As The Doctor combats the now slightly worse forces of the Happiness Patrol, she becomes aware that she's dealing with not just the slightly shitter versions of the Happiness Patrol, but a meta textual commentary that might never let her go!! 


Vervoids on Varos:

On her way to get the third segment to the Garage Door Opener of Time, The Doctor encounters the White Guardian once more, who apologizes profusely that he has a very poor memory of the Sixth Doctor's era on television. To the Doctor's consternation, she soon finds herself in a pathetic amalgam of basically every Sixth Doctor television story ever written, featuring The Rani, Vervoids, Sil, Many Many Courtroom Scenes, and that weird guy from Timelash. The Doctor's own history is being rewritten by 80s insanity! The White Guardian assures the Doctor that this isn't a diss, and he actually does enjoy 80s Doctor Who, but the Doctor isn't sure...

The Talons of Mercy Hartigan:

After getting the Third Segment of the Garage Door Opener of Time (John-Nathan Turner) the Doctor finds herself in the landscape of a problematic classic. She resolves to escape quickly, and deck any stereotypes on the nose. Searching for the Fourth Segment, she comes across a certain Mercy Hartigan - possessed with the powers of the Black Guardian and attempting to stop her from getting any further.  The Doctor isn't concerned, I mean, it's Mercy Hartigan. One off Russell T Davies villain. But then Mercy gets her hands on the heart of the Doctor's TARDIS...

The Hours of Tomorrow:

The Fifth Segment of Time is found in Edward Grove... Edward Grove is alive. Together, my poppet, we are making him so... 

Skyclash:

The Sixth and final Segment of the Garage Door Opener of Time leads the Doctor to The Cybermen... and Adric? Yep! Adric's alive! Isn't that literally just? The worst? Yeah, evidently he survived Earthshock and then he survived The Boy Who Time Forgot too! So he's just?? alive, I guess and it's diminishing returns time! The Doctor is very very happy to see that Adric has survived - 1. The Cybermen 2. The Dinosaurs and 3. Being a giant fuckall Scorpion but honestly?? She's the Dench Doctor. Just because she's happy about this doesn't mean it's good writing. Either way, it's time for a jaw dropping conclusion to this arc, where in all likelihood Adric will probably die again because the status quo is an angry beast that must be fed twice daily

Also the Black Guardian's probably gonna get pissed about this whole thing, huh? 

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