The Five People You Kill In Middlesbrough

 

The Five People You Kill In Middlesbrough by Yvonne Hartman

The Five People You Kill In Middlesbrough is completely right, but also perhaps a little hypocritical. Written (reportably) by Tim Foley, James Goss and Tracy Ann Oberman, using Yvonne’s own name as an author’s signature, it’s a fucking scathing attack on the modern political world, especially that of Britain during the response to the Coronavirus. It’s also searingly obvious from the start that that is exactly what it’s about and it almost doesn’t even bother to try beating around the bush and saying it’s not that. It sort of invites it - especially with the lines at the beginning about staying in your homes. It’s the most politically charged audio I’ve ever reviewed, and it certainly wears its opinions on its sleeve. It attacks both the corrupt and the spineless variety of politicians, the anti-Semitic, the shitty Internet personalities and news organizations that pedal their views and the greedy people on top who let this happen. And by attacks, I mean attacks. This audio doesn’t have a plot, it has a political statement, a motivation, and this almost makes it less enjoyable. It’s five vignettes about a random fuckup who Yvonne proceeds to kill/ruin. The ways she does so are creative and fun - a diatribe on the “cancelled” utilizing continuity from the previous monthly story, The Crown, is without a doubt the story’s highlight. It’s very on point. It’s very aware of what it’s talking about. It’s also, as I’ve mentioned, slightly dampened by the person who wrote it. From the title, you would think that this would be an experimental audio in vein of Tropical Beach Sounds, and it’s certainly not. I don’t want this to be a call-out post or a in-depth diatribe myself, but I’m not exactly a fan of Tracy Ann Oberman, fabulous actress she may be. People can be talented and still not good people. And I don’t want to get far into this angle - as a large percentage of this story was written by other people too. It’s got a pen name on it for a reason. I can’t deign to say which bits are written by which. I just find it interesting that an audio that is very very on point on certain aspects is also written by a woman who has, well, a certain relationship with cancel culture. It’s slightly tempestuous, and I feel like I’m stepping on hot coals writing this review, so I won’t go into this aspect further, but I haven’t brought up these element previously on Yvonne episodes because it hasn’t been relevant to the plot. It’s undoubtedly relevant here. Lines like Yvonne attacking the man for anti-semitism when Tracy Ann Oberman herself has been sued for doing so wrongly give the whole audio a different sort of feel than usual. I just find that regardless of the message that the story has (the UK treatment of Corona was hideously bad and people died in ways that could have been avoided) which indeed, I must reiterate, I do agree with, that I just won’t enjoy it as much as a piece of media if it’s barely a piece of fiction at all. (the only fictitious bits in this story is swapping COVID for alien spaceship radiation. And the murders. Hopefully.) Some Anvils need to be dropped, and some political messages need to be said. But at a certain point it doesn’t feel as much like escapism, if you catch my drift. Yvonne Hartman in this story is an author’s avatar - an incredibly witty and enjoyable authors avatar that you can get behind the narration of, but an authors avatar nonetheless. She feels different in this than she does in God Among Us or Torchwood One. She has a mission, she doesn’t have connection to these characters,  and be it for Queen and Country or not, she’s certainly got a direct goal. Whether Five People actually accomplishes that will certainly almost entirely depend on the mindset of the listener. 7/10, Your Mileage May Vary