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Torchwood: Dissected

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Martha Jones is back... Torchwood: Dissected Dissected is one of the sickest audios that I've heard so far in the Torchwood range, which I've praised previously for being liberal in sex, gore and swearing, placing them only if it directly benefits the story and makes it better. As such, there are plenty of Torchwood stories, (Sync for instance) that have next to no adult elements at all. Don't go into this one expecting that.  On the other hand, you have stuff like Dissected, which if you couldn't tell from the title, is pretty damn creepy. First off, Gwen and Martha have the most gosh dang perfect chemistry in this, Eve Myles and Freema Agyeman clearly love working together, which is always a plus. You can tell when actors don't click, and Myles and Agyemen seem to me like best buddies. It adds necessary tonal levity when the horrible maggot writhing body isn't making you hide behind the sofa.  All the same, I kind of love Dissected for it's ...

New Review Sections!

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A few posts ago, you may have seen (now deleted) one of these. There will now be one of these at the end of every review (because I think they're neat)  This is nothing but an announcement post so you may know that they will show up now, and for you to be aware they will be edited into previous posts.  Any review with these on it, will contain my updated opinions, which may have changed over time. 

NCJDDAS: Heel of The Archetrix

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For A Prompt By “Rat” NCJDDAS: Heel of The Archetrix Majorly Arc Related, Advised Reading of The Elder Thing Part I and II first. Advised Torchwood obsession. Season Finale Previously On Doctor Who… The Doctor, Danny and Roman encountered a cult being named the Elder Thing that took the form of Scott Bakula, the Star Trek actor in an Indiana Jones rip-off… In other news, Cherry Classified, an immoral Torchwood agent flapper, wants to kill the Doctor, and she may well get her chance, if the rest of Torchwood doesn’t love the Doctor so much…. Chapter One Cherry Classified sat in the Torchwood hub, her arms crossed petulantly. When was the Captain going to be back? They’d been stuck in the 1920s for what seemed like ages, and although she loved being dressed up like Flapper Carmen Sandiego, the 1920s weren’t very friendly towards her type, which was, you know, gay. She wondered how stereotypically she fit the bill for Torchwood recruits, and she scowled. This new Torchwoo...

NCJDDAS: Gimmick Part Two

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NCJDDAS: Gimmick Part Two "MR. DANNY DEVITO SLASH SAMMY WINTERS," The backstage loudspeakers intoned " TO THE STAGE PLEASE!" "Oh," said the Doctor. "Oh, no." Danny got up. And he walked onto the stage entrance, opened the door, and as he put on his boiler suit, he stepped out. The Judge sat in his seat, the sixth in the front row. "Begin your act, subject 23601," the Judge said. "Is that a Les Mis-" "For the love of god, subject 23601, please begin your act." "Um." Danny said, sitting down onto the stage. "I'm not good at much. But I can tell a mean story." "Begin Your Mean Story, Subject 23601." "Well, I like to call this one, um..." The First Tale: The Reunification of Brewster "As all good people know, there are three Doctors' in the main range audio series of the audio company Big Finish productions. Of these, there are two doctors who met...

Random Stories Appreciation Rant Vol 1

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Here's a fun new concept! Once in a while, I'm not doing a full Set review or whatever. I mean yes, I am listening to Stranded right now (and the first ep is bloody marvellous) but I hope this to be a recurring post type where I bring up 4 or 5 random stories that I want to talk about but can't be bothered to come up with a connecting tissue for them. Or maybe I have come up with a theme but they're from different ranges. Or maybe they're even novels or TV episodes! Who knows, I'm literally making this blog up as I go along, and I have infinite power to do as I please. ...Please don't X out. These few, although seemingly random, are all tangentally related. Here goes my first attempt! Short Trips Volume One: Rise and Fall I never would be able to justify talking about Rise and Fall anywhere else, but it feels so distinctly like something only the Hartnell era's bold stupid genius would do. At the time, the show didn't have formula yet. You...

Why River Song is the best Audio Spinoff

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No, don't X out. Okay, fine, a clickbaity title, I'm allowed that. This is the blog's 100th post after all, so I'm breaking format, and I'm talking about the woman who got me into Big Finish productions. Alex Kingston as River Song. Oh, granted, there were others. My first seven sets though that I got for christmas one year, were probably the most formative, and they were two series of The Tenth Doctor Adventures, The War Master Volume One and Four Series' of The Diary of River Song. (If you must know, I got 1,2,4, and 5. For some reason not 3.)  I Got em' for Christmas. Never looked back. The thing is about Diary, and what makes it special is that first, it's the best series...for newcomers. Give me all the David Tennant you like, but minus a few, most of the 10DAs will have you going "mm, that was alright" and you'll forget about them soon after. Diary is something you'll remember.  Every season introduced a new version of...

NCJDDAS: Gimmick

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NCJDDAS: Gimmick From a idea by Stubagful Part One of Two Chapter One  Mr. Hedgewick walked out on stage. Tonight, he was going on Rigel 3's Got Talent, and he was really excited. He was going to perform a special song with the spoons. It was going to be great! Plus he was 97, so he was guaranteed to win at that! He was going through the backstage closets, looking for his costume, when a man stopped him. "New studio mandate, old chap. Put this on." He handed Mr. Hedgewick a white hazmat suit. "Why?" Mr Hedgewick was beside himself. "Don't ask questions, Mister Hedgewick." He put it on. It was hard, his bones these days were stiff. The thing covered his face, no one could see him at all. He felt watched. The bell rang, and he stepped out on stage. The entire theater was empty, a white void of an audience. No one was there at all. Every seat in the entire theater was empty, a white theater of nothing, except for a slick man in ...

Gallifrey: Enemy Lines

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Enemy Lines is definitely more of a mixed bag than Intervention Earth (and if you've heard that one, still as accessible), and overall I tended to love it. Well, wanted to love it. I listened to it in one sitting, which was a problem. You see, Enemy Lines is once again, a six parter that has no reason to be a six parter (OH BOY THERE ARE A LOT OF THOSE) and although the first three and last parts are all exceptional, it drags incredibly in the middle, and it sort of feels like nothing is happening, even if a lot is happening. You know, Politics! And as such, listening to it in one sitting will put a damper on you. I probably would have loved it a lot more if I had taken a break, but nonetheless, it's unbelievably strong when it needs to be. The most notable thing about Enemy Lines is it promptly drops Romana III without any pomp or circumstance, leaving her firmly in the realm of what could have been (She was fantastic, come on) and moves Ace to the side, giving her e...

Gallifrey: Intervention Earth

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As my first introduction to Gallifrey, Intervention Earth is hardly ideal, even though it very nearly is.  Intervention Earth is ostensibly a pilot, one to a new rebooted Gallifrey for newcomers to jump onto, one that works incredibly well, and for the most part in that fashion, its' completely flawless. Not my favorite audio, far from it, hardly a standout entry in Big Finish, but be damned if I can't actually figure out a problem with it. (Except perhaps, the inclusion of Omega on the cover, he's certainly not a front and center guy in the whole thing.) No, Intervention Earth, while it's bloody brilliant, also has that problem of missed potential, as everything it sets up with Romana III and Ace being the series' new two leads, is kind of crapped on by Enemy Lines (which is also great, but still) which forgoes nearly everything Intervention sets up for a cosmic retgone which not only yeets Romana III out of the canon, also demotes Ace from this story'...

NCJDDAS Audiobooks Part Two

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Soundcloud is gonna be mean, so a follow up with Benny and The Jets and onwards probably isn't going to happen, (Okay, It might, as may Storm, but anything further than that, I don't know, and also my sound editor has officially stopped working) but hey! There's an adaptation of Work In Progress and I've also made what I view as one of my worse outings, far far better, and did one of my favorite stories justice, yes, the complete season one of NCJDDAS is now up on my  soundcloud  and it's as fab as I thought, complete with some nice covers and whatnot! Work In Progress Some Kind of Pun Involving Mimes  (Highly recommend checking it out, it's like a redo!) The Starcorp Horror and if you want to literally waste 2 hours of your life in an fantastic fashion, here's the complete season one playlist, which you can only get here! Playlist

Torchwood: Broken

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Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones walk into a bar... Broken is one of the best examples of much needed character development that was put in later as an afterthought after a traumatic event. Like, Donna Kidnapped did much the same thing, after Silence in the Library, but Broken takes a slate that had absolutely nothing on it (because, RTD, bless him, had no clue of the importance of what he did with Jack and Ianto, and thus, Season 1’s romantic side plot is underplayed as hell and nothing happens for crap) and paints a frankly gorgeous canvas.  Broken is bleak, it is dark, it is so very important, but it never crosses the line of NO THIS IS TOO DARK GO AWAY which is something that many audios of its type (Read: Five Twenty Nine) do.  First off, the ideas are stellar. It jumps over a long period of time in season one, sprinkling important bits that we needed to know, leading up to the official start of the relationship we never got. (I listened to it in a group call on...

Torchwood: Serenity

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Address: Serenity Plaza 114 Serenity by James Moran Jack and Ianto have always been an extraordinary relationship, not just in that they are gay badass secret agents who are awesome, but also in that the series never realized how important they were. Even now, much less 2006, you don’t see gay couples doing anything like they did on Torchwood. Sure, they’re occasionally prevalent on sitcoms, and you can find gay romance movies, but to see two such awesome characters together, who’s personalities intersected perfectly was a joy, and like I said, rare in this genre. Much more surprising with how important they both were, the relationship never really got development, it started in We Keep Killing Susie with a “Oh, they’re fucking” and ended, as too many of these do, with one of them dead. It was almost a wrong move to do that. And I’m not just saying that because of the killing their gays trope, which is terrible, yes, but it was the wrong move for the series in general. Children o...

NCJDDAS Audiobooks!

A purposefully shitty Audiobook of the first episode of NCJDDAS! It's on Soundcloud, it has happened, it is real, and it is lovely and not just that,  Marriage of the Daleks has been done too! Wait, what if I've already read these? There's nothing to gain! NO! There is new material and funny lines, and it has the Doctor Who theme! LISTEN NOW!

NCJDDAS: The Elder Thing Part Two

NCJDDAS: The Elder Thing Part Two Part Two of Two Previously on Doctor Who... The Doctor, Danny and Roman encountered a madman on a planet designed to look like Mayan civilization that was draining people's sense of humor and subsequently, their lives. Quickly, although the Doctor escaped their onslaught, Danny and Roman were captured and are now within the power of evil Temurra Morrison... Chapter One Danny began to tremble.  "Now, Sammy Winters. Tell us your joke!" The evil old one rasped. "Why?" Asked Danny. "Because we have been old for far too long. And someone else, far older and more powerful than us, he's the only way we have for escape. Once the elder thing, our almighty Archetrix is awoken, he will give all, immortal and mortal, the sweet release of death. But I need your joke first. Now, come on!"  As Danny began to wonder how to reconcile this cliffhanger, a bullet hit the old one in the chest and he toppled...