NCBBDAS: Upload - Part Two
NCBBDAS: Upload - Part Two
Starring Brenda Blethyn and Linda Hamilton
Sorry it's been such a long time getting this one out
Previously On Doctor Who...
Cyber Roombas.
Chapter Five
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHhhHHHhhHHHHHhhhHH" They shrieked as the Cyber-Roombas dragged them beneath the earth.
[99% OF ALL PEOPLE CAN'T DO THIS SIMPLE TRICK] Insisted a Cyber-Roomba as it dug into the Doctor's leg.
They all continued screaming, because the existential horror of Cyber-Roombas is simply that strong.
"EEEEEAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
With a twirl, Sarah Connor grabbed onto one of the Cyber-Roombas and hurled it into the distance. This did quite little to avail the crowds of murderous horror that were attempting to climbing up their legs.
"They're going to take us to Zorgakorr!" Leega shrieked, her voice intent with fear.
"Zorgakorr?"
"I'm assuming, the planet's capital. The Cybermen's central command." The Doctor said.
"As if Roombas could drive us all the way there."
"They're Roombas, but they're part of the Cyber-network, and there are dozens. If they lock onto our organic signatures-" Leega attempted to say, but with a shock, they suddenly found their forms disappearing and they materialized into a Cyber-fortress.
"What?" Sarah Connor barked, reaching for her non-existent gun.
"They locked onto our signatures like Leega said," The Doctor said. "We've been transmatted to the heart of this planets' Cyber-Empire."
"They can teleport us? That doesn't make sense!! " Sarah Connor said, in her own confused fashion.
[WELCOME TO THE CYBER-CORE.] A menacing voice intoned. [I AM CYBER-LEADER 01743219. IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME, DOCTOR.]
Chapter Six
"Why do you say that? ...Do you know me?"
[THE CYBERMEN HAVE NOT ENCOUNTERED YOU FOR SEVERAL INCARNATIONS.]
"More like One. ...We probably met in the wrong order." The Doctor noted. "Well, Cyber-Leader 01743219, I can at the very least applaud your ambition. Hmm. Yes, this seems to be the Cyber-converted remains of this planet's primary city. You've redecorated. I don't like it."
[CEASE PRATTLE.] The Cyberleader commanded.
"Seriously. I mean, I'm looking at your whole chic, and I can't say I proper like it, love. You've plastered over this entire city with Nano-circuitry."
[I HAVE COMMANDED YOU TO CEASE TALKING.]
"Ooh, well, that's kind of my thing. I mean, this is one of my more sedate incarnations, and even this one likes to chatter on to no end, especially when I feel ever so slightly anxious. Which incidentally, is tending to be a feeling I know all too well - Ooh, what a week! Wait a second...did you just say I?"
[I WAS THE FIRST MIND TO BE CONVERTED ON THIS PLANET. MY FORMER NAME WAS ZORG. NOW I AM CYBER-LEADER 01743219. I AM SUPERIOR.]
"Zorg..." The Doctor mused. "That supposed to mean something?"
The Cyberleader paused. [WE UNLOCKED THIS WORLD THROUGH A SIMPLE CLICK OF A BUTTON ON A WEBSITE. WE SLINKED OUT OF THE COMPUTERS, WE REFORGED THIS WORLD THROUGH THE POWER OF A POP-UP. AND SOON WE WILL REFORGE YOU. OR YOU WILL BE TERMINATED.] The Cyberleader paused, the tension palpable. [HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA.] It suddenly stated.
"Oh my god, you got into this place with Malware. You aren't just Cybermen, getting onto this planet's internet system went both ways. You have a Computer Virus in all of you. In every Cyberman on the planet!"
Sarah Connor stood to the side, seething and shaking. "Terminators!? TERMINATORS?!?!? I GOTTA KILL THE TERMINATORS."
"Oh, now, it sinks in." The Doctor muttered. "...Wait a moment."
Sarah shook continually before collapsing to the ground.
"What's happening to her?" Leega exclaimed.
"She's an android, made by the Time Lords - a sentient machine - which makes her susceptible to the virus!"
Chapter Seven
The Cyberleader stood there, impassively. [ENOUGH,] it gyrated. [YOU WILL BE CONVERTED. THERE WILL BE NO DELAY.] It raised a hand, electric with lightning.
"Download every Angry Birds game." The Doctor said.
The Cyberleader and the surrounding Cybermen paused, freezing in place. [INSTALLING.] They said, suddenly, against their will.
"There's like 200 Angry Birds Games, I bought us five minutes! Run!" The Doctor shrieked to Leega and Sarah Connor.
Sarah Connor shook. [DOWNLOADING ANGRY BIRDS SPACE 37] She grated.
"Drag her!" The Doctor growled, commanding to Leega. They began to run through the futuristic hallways, aglow with the silver and blue light - perhaps even the architecture was beginning to be converted for maximum efficiency.
Rounding a corner, they found a short purple man, less than a foot high. Pudgy, with the words DO NOT TOUCH ME, I WILL GRAPHICALLY MURDER YOU, tattooed onto his chest. "Hi! I'm Eie!" He squeaked, with the friendliest kids show host of a voice possible.
"Hello, Bleep. ....what's with the tattoo?"
"I love hugs! You want a hug?" Eie asked, extending his tiny arms.
"Aww," Leega began to reach out, before the Doctor slapped her. "It fucking says he's going to kill you if you touch him! He's the only unconverted thing in this place, just think about that! The Cybermen couldn't even touch him!"
"Aww gee I love hugs" Eie shrieked.
Leega stupidly reached out again
"Don't!" The Doctor insisted. "Come on, we don't have much time!"
Dragging Sarah Connor, Leega begrudingly obliged, and they continued to move out down the hallway as fast as they could. Eie continued to follow them.
"What's with him?" Leega asked.
"Quirky side character." The Doctor gritted her teeth. "I doubt he's relevant."
"The entire plot revolves around me!" Eie insisted.
"Yeah, sure, luv."
* * *
In the next room, the Doctor was aghast to find the conversion unit facilities. Agonized screaming bounded across the room as things that are too graphic to be mentioned on blogs occurred.
Sarah Connor whimpered. [Does anyone have a wall socket or something? I think I'm low on power.]
"I thought you hated being an android."
[You think I'm happy about being low on batteries and infected with a computer virus, Granny?] Sarah moaned.
"While we're here, we should unplug the conversion units." Leega suggested.
"We have little time - it's been like eight minutes, they're probably like 94% done installing the Angry Birds games, and they'll have put up firewalls to stop me from doing that sort of thing again."
Eie hopped up behind them. "Haha oh boy wouldn't it be funny if I actually knew something about the conversion process haha oh boy I sure do love hugs"
"Shut up, Eie!" The Doctor shrieked. ..."Actually, how is your name pronounced."
"E"
"Oh, feck off." The Doctor muttered under her breath.
"Wait a second, I think we should hear him out." Leega mumbled.
[I am willing to hear him out if I am plugged in and also am given a gun so I can shoot him after] Sarah groaned.
"Haha I made the Cyberman it was all me haha" Eie stated.
"What the fuck."
"I love hugs!"
Chapter Eight
"Eie, what do you mean you made the Cybermen!"
"Hahha wouldn't it be like so funny if I told you I'm the guy at an Apple meeting that first came up with In-App Purchases"
"Shoot him." The Doctor said.
Sarah Connor, despite her battery induced stupor, managed to take a Cyber-gun she took off a conversion unit and cock it ominously out of pure rage.
"HAahah I'm so silly I'm Such A SIlly Character I like Hugs"
"Okay, look. I don't know what to think of this." The Doctor stated. "I'm just going to move on."
They proceeded, with Eie's help - careful not to touch him, of course, despite his constant commentary, to plug Sarah Connor into a wall and recharge her battery.
"I'm definitely going to modify your battery after this. I don't want this to happen again."
[Alien Computer Virus, Remember!] Sarah Connor offered.
Despite all of this, they were out of time. The Cybermen stomped in, followed by The Cyberleader.
[YOU WILL ALL BE CONVERTED!] The Cybermen raised their hands to fire at the group.
Heroically, Eie ran into the fire, attempting to protect the group.
The Doctor, Sarah and Leega began to run - looking back, they saw one of the Cybermen touch Eie and instantly graphically die.
"Haahah I love hugs, hug me Cybermen!" They heard the shrieking of, as the three of them began to exit the complex.
* * *
"What was that?" Sarah Connor asked, confusingly.
"If you touch Eie, you instantly graphically die. It's on his tattoo!" The Doctor insisted, as if this explained anything. They were now back in the wastelands they had started in. "Come on, we need to get back to the TARDIS."
Moving across the wasteland as fast as they could, they found a dead tree - and a Cyberman lying at the foot of it. "Okay, wow, that's sudden." Leega announced. The Cyberman reached out - in pain - only for it's hand to collapse back onto it's chest. It died in front of them.
The Doctor sighed.
"What was that -" Sarah began -
"Don't you see the rags on it? It's Neebler." The Doctor sighed. "...We keep losing people, we keep losing them. Neebler! Calvin! Millie! Even that Eie fellow - ooh, I'm sick of it."
"We move forward." Sarah Connor insisted, angrily. A Command. It had been a long time since the Doctor had been given a command.
She smiled a bit - and they continued across the ruins.
* * *
The TARDIS. Cybermen surrounding it. Cybermen everywhere. Cybermen in front of them, Cybermen certainly behind them - even Eie's self sacrifice had not slowed the enormous amount of numbers flowing from the city of Zorgakorr.
Even when the Cybermen were jokes, they were scary ones.
"We need to get into the TARDIS." The Doctor whispered to Sarah and Leega.
"How the hell is that going to help us?" Leega whispered back.
Sarah replied with an earnest. "It's a thing!" which wasn't exactly helpful.
"They're dumbed down, they're not themselves, we can use the virus to our advantage." The Doctor stated.
Sarah Connor growled. "Anything you try and do to them will also happen to me."
"Not true. The Cybermen are Cyborgs, with everything organic in them designed to be edited out. You're a full machine that's designed to be purely organic in your reasoning."
"To blow things up?"
"It's a simple reasoning, granted!" The Doctor insisted. "But this virus is all we have over them. They came to this planet on the malware, we use the malware to fight back. And if you were connected to the virus network once, Sarah, we still have a backdoor into the Cybersystem!"
* * *
The Cybermen guarding the TARDIS began to shake. [WHAT. WHAT IS THIS.]
[UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS. INTO CYBERRR SYSTEMM-]
[MALWARE DETECTED]
[MALWARE DETECTED]
[UNAUTHORIZED UPLOAD]
[UNAUTHORIZED UPLOAD COMPLETE]
[STREAMING UNAUTHORIZED SIGNAL NOW]
[AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH]
The Cybermen exploded.
"What did you do?" Sarah Connor asked.
"Used the back door system that you have, Sarah, to give all of the Cybermen a jolt - something that would trigger an emotional response so large that it burnt out the emotional inhibitors and destroyed the Cybermen from the inside out!" The Doctor smirked, shutting off the Sonic Screwdriver.
"What kind of jolt? The power of love?"
"The power of hate, I played this." The Doctor's screwdriver buzzed out a bit of the music.
"You are an evil woman." Sarah Connor said, with much approval.
"It's a short range solution - we won't ever be able to free this planet. We aren't going to be able to save anyone." The Doctor said, sadly.
"We saved someone." Sarah said, pointing at Leega. "Doesn't that count?"
The Doctor smiled a bit. "Yeah. Course. Maybe it is. Come on, Leega. I'll drop you off, anywhere in the space and time you like. Get you some nice tea."
"Anywhere in the space and time? I want to travel with you, Doctor!" Leega smiled, happily.
"Sorry, three's a crowd." The Doctor said - "But I'll drop you off where ever you like."
Leega mused. "I've always been interested in the early technological era. Earth, Sometime around, the 2010s? 2020s?"
"No." The Doctor said, leading the two of them into the TARDIS.
The End
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