(MAIN RANGE): Victoriana
(MAIN RANGE): Victoriana
This story stars the Cadence Doctor, as played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead and created by Gallifrey_Immigrant, and her companion Miaki as played by who knows who but I'm saying Alan Tudyk
For a Prompt by Rat
Chapter One
Once Upon A Time, In The Far Away Land of What Would One Day Be Called Britain, There was a large grinding and scraping noise, the kind that usually occurred at the TARDISes arrival. This was no different. What was different, was the stories body count changing from 0 to 1 as the TARDIS dematerialized on top of a peasant in rags.
The Doctor stepped out and screamed, taking Miaki, (a small rat like bat bird thing, and her companion) out of her pocket, which he followed up by screaming.
"WHAT HAPPENED!" Miaki screamed. "YOU'VE DEMATERIALIZED ON TOP OF SOMEONE! AREN'T THERE SAFEMEASURES!!?!?"
"Um, yes, usually!" The Doctor muttered to herself, thinking that she must have done something wrong at some point.
She looked at the peasant's body.
"Well, I can probably undo this. Um, time travel. Somehow."
"Without causing a paradox?"
"I wasn't supposed to be here, the TARDIS broke, and for once, it isn't my fault!" The Doctor said, adjusting her hat.
The weight of the TARDIS, is of course, theoretically infinite as the TARDIS is theoretically infinite. The TARDIS does have rules, of course, that make it weigh much less, so it doesn't crack the earth's crust, but a person is much softer than the earth's crust and so the person now beneath the TARDIS was a bloody mess.
The Doctor rushed back inside, and materialized the TARDIS about 8 feet away, before rushing back.
"What's the guys' name?" Miaki asked. "What's he got on 'em? Maybe we could like, figure out where his family is, and like, find out his correct burial practices."
The Doctor mournfully shrugged, although she supposed Miaki did have the right idea. She took a moment to breathe. She didn't get shocks like that, much ever, and although she was getting used to being the Doctor and not Cadence... It still wasn't easy. Stuff like this where no one did anything wrong, accidents like this was always where being the Doctor was hardest. It had been a long time since she screamed like a baby like that. A very long time.
"Nothing's on him." She said. "I'm going to grab something from the TARDIS. I don't use it often. Not at all, really."
"What is it?"
"A deep identity scanning device. Accesses the Time Vortex to determine the effects of a person in the flow to time. It's a time lord tool."
"Why don't you carry that like, all the time?"
"You'll see." The Doctor said, placing Miaki on the ground.
Ten minutes later, she dragged a big ginormous box out of the TARDIS, covered all over with electrical cables and all sorts of doodads, plugged into the TARDIS console itself with all of the open doors. The Doctor struggled to pull it along the grass, but eventually collapsed with the deep identity scanner next to the victim.
"See?" She asked Miaki. "Unlike most time lord tech, the deep identity scanner is distinctly rubbish. No one bothered to figure out how to integrate it into a small device. But considering the body is 8 feet away from the TARDIS, we can make it work. If it was 10 feet, we would have needed an extension cable."
"Why didn't time lords make it bigger on the inside to store all the wiring and stuff?" Miaki asked.
"They did." The Doctor said. "This is a good version of it. It doesn't even have to be plugged into the Matrix!"
She scanned the man with the device.
She then took 30 minutes lugging it back into the TARDIS, before coming out again with a discolored face. "We have a problem." She said.
"What?" Miaki asked.
"This is the ancestor, like, great, great ancestor, like, a historical footnote ancestor, of the first member of the British Royal Family. As such...The British Royal Family, the Kings and Queens who would found the country for hundreds of years, no longer exist."
Chapter Two
"What?" Asked Miaki. "That can't be. The royal family isn't all derived from one guy. and Like, if one royal guy died, then someone else would step in, logically. So nothing should really change."
"...True, but time is very annoyed with us, and um, the scanner tells me, none of that will happen. The entirety of human history without the British Royal Family at all. None of it exists anymore. According to the TARDIS database, Britain, doesn't exist anymore. It's now all Wales."
"Okay. So, how do we reverse it?" Miaki asked.
"It's a very surreal thing, really, but I'm not sure how. I need to jump ahead at least to the 1960s." The Doctor grabbed Miaki and grabbed the TARDISes lever, but it wouldn't dematerialize.
"Urrgh! The TARDIS won't budge, it's just straight up broken down. Hasn't been like this since Liv, Helen and Tania in 2020." The Doctor said, stomping out of the TARDIS. "Jack or River or Benny or somebody left me a Vortex Manipulator for emergencies. We have to find some kind of scientific root to all of this to stop the time paradox that's happening right now. And plus..." She looked to the side, somewhat ashamedly. "I really want to know what history is gonna look like."
The Doctor imputted codes into the manipulator, and then was gone.
1800
The Doctor coughed, spiralling out of time and into the streets. Miaki fluttered out of her pocket, making weird alien noises, like a squeaking squawking.
"OH, THAT WAS WILD!" He sputtered. "Can we do it again!?!"
"I don't know." The Doctor said, walking into the shadowy streets. "This is the same spot. See, the TARDIS is right there, there's a sign next to it labelled modern art. Good to know it's survived the centuries. "Well, no one can move it." Miaki shrugged.
"True," the Doctor said, as they moved across the street. "Stop there!" They heard an indian voice call.
"Oh, okay then. In this timeline, India conquers Britain, it's a reversal, I get it." The Doctor said.
"What are you talking about? One, this is Wales, and Two, Napoleon controls Wales. I just happen to be Indian." The Strangely Helpful Exposition Man said.
"Oh, great, Napoleon. And has America been discovered yet?" The Doctor asked.
"...I have no clue what that is." The Man said.
"Wonderful, thank you." The Doctor said, laughing. "So then. Um, what about George Washington? John Adams? Thomas Jefferson?"
"Look, I'm just stopping you in the street, woman, for wearing improper clothes. Where is your husband?"
The Doctor fought back some of Cadence's painful memories.
No. You're The Doctor Now. You've left.
"I don't have a husband." The Doctor said, quiet and angry. "Let me go."
She heard Miaki making noises in her pocket.
"What's that?" The Man asked.
"You can't just stop me in the street, you're not a police officer." The Doctor dragged herself away from the man.
"Who's gonna stop me? Napoleon?" The Man mocked.
"Alright, Miaki, I'm not going to get any work done in this time period." She paused, thinking. "Mister, I am a witch, and If you don't respect women, I will...oh, I'm rubbish at threats-" She activated the Vortex Manipulator, disappearing into blue smoke, as The Man screamed, emotionally.
Chapter Three
1848
The Doctor rematerialized, having set the coordinates for a history museum. "Miaki, here, we can find out how History has changed."
Miaki rolled his eyes. "Is there anyone there? Can I come out now?"
"No," The Doctor said, looking at the glass cases. "The first notable difference is that the world powers have become notably different, without America, and without Britain stamping Countries like India down. Culture has changed considerably. The extent of this paradox is...mind staggering. It isn't just the royal family, some minor figures too, like Emily and Charlotte Bronte. They should be mentioned here too, but they aren't. So many. Time is just freaking out here, but why is it this one man?
"I mean, was this man celibate?" Miaki asked, before The Doctor groaned.
"No, they are NOT all related, Miaki." The Doctor rolled her eyes.
The land of the United Kingdom is sort of divided. The Scots and Irish seem to be fine, if slightly smaller and Wales is larger than before, but over the years, France, Spain and Germany have all had control over the land formerly called Britain."
"What about the world map?"
The Doctor walked over, to look at it. "Oh, my god."
Half of the world was the Country of Luxembourg.
"I swear, is time just mad at us, or-"
Chapter Four
"STOP! STOP, RIGHT THERE!" A Man said, entering the room. "THIS IS MISTER JONATHAN LANCER'S PRIVATE COLLECTION!"
"Oh, golly." The Doctor said, activating the manipulator again.
1943
"Hello, everybody, and I'm Luxembourg J. Luxembourg, president of the Empire of Luxembourg. This is your daily announcement. The weather is fine, a small gusty wind coming in from the east, no rain today, but there will be tomorrow, so get your stuff on, and the temperature is 83 Degrees Fahrenheit. Remember to obey and serve the Empire of Luxembourg or you will be violently pushed through a cheese grater! But for Humans!" The Radio chirped, as The Doctor materialized in 1943.
"Where are we now?" Miaki asked.
"1943, America. Figured it would be safe." The Doctor said. "Unfortunately, it's already Luxembourg."
"What are you going to do?"
"Well, considering this historical makes little to no sense, I'm going to find as many historical figures as possible, and extract their DNA. If I do that, I can maybe reverse engineer a distraction to steer the TARDIS off course so this never happens. Which of course, is a Paradox, but is not Luxembourg, so I think I'll be cool with it." The Doctor said.
"And where are we now in America 1943 that we can find some kind of historical figure?"
"Arkansas, the new capital, looking for the new president Luxembourg has installed. It's probably not gonna be FDR."
They rounded the corner, carefully.
"HELLO, DOCTOR," Exclaimed Marilyn Monroe carrying a shotgun. "I HAVE BEEN EXPECTING YOU."
"Marilyn Monroe! I... shouldn't know you in this timeline."
"You think you can fool me by changing your face, and um, crossdressing, but I know you're really my husband!"
"How are we going to get out of this?" Miaki squeaked.
Marilyn Monroe threw herself at the Doctor and attempted to make out with them furiously, before the Doctor disappeared into the time vortex.
1851
"Well, um, you certainly got the DNA of Marilyn Monroe." Miaki commented.
"Shut up," the Doctor commented.
"Who's next on the DNA shopping list?"
"I thought I'd go earlier. In this timeline, one of the few surviving people who weren't erased by the lack of Britain or people not discovering America in like, now I believe it's 1901, is Herman Melville, whose parents still managed to get together." The Doctor said.
"You're looking for the DNA of the writer of Moby Dick?" Miaki asked, unbelieving.
"Yeah, and he's now living in Denmark. Which hopefully hasn't been taken over by Luxembourg."
"WELCOME TO DENLUXENBOURGMARK." A Voice from outside tolled.
"Do you pay me? Because I think I need to bepaid," Miaki joked.
Herman Melville walked by. "Hello, I'm currently writing Moby Dick 2. I was wondering if you'd like to review this 2847 page excerpt on Whale Blubber." He said. The Doctor sighed h eavily and had him spit in a cup.
Chapter Five
"Only one more, I should think." The Doctor commented. "Which historical figure to go for?"
"Jesus?" Miaki suggested.
"Oh no, nobody can time travel near Jesus." The Doctor said. "Too many people try. Same reason time travelling near Hitler is hard, you just get crowded by loads of other time travellers who want to praise/kill them. What we want is suitably obscure, like Melville, but still to a point people have heard of them. For Instance, I think King Tut would be good. He's a fairly minor historical figure in the whole of Egypt, it's just he's the only one who doesn't get tomb robbed. Which is why we are here in 1323 BCE. There's no way in hell Luxembourg is gonna get us here."
"Hello Doctor, I am Richard Nixon, time travelling Secret Agent Working for the World Government of Luxembourg." Richard Nixon said, walking out of the shadows with a giant gun.
"Oh no. No, there is no way that the removal of Britain causes-"
"The entire world to fall under the banner of Luxembourg, and develop time travel by working together instead of fighting wars in a massive gambit to stop you from erasing the progress of Luxembourg? No. And also, they invented time travel after I died, they just went back to recruit me and send me here to kill you."
"Why you then, Nixon?" The Doctor asked.
"I have absolutely no issues with Murder." Nixon said, firing at the Doctor, with his massive laser rifle.
She dodged the blast by hiding behind a pillar nervously.
Nixon shed his skin and became the terminator. "You see, Doctor, I also submitted myself for Cybernetic Augmentation!"
"Why is this happening? WHy WHY WhY whY wHy" The Doctor screamed, rushing past Nixon, and walking straight into King Tut.
"Hi," said King Tut.
"Hi, Dodge the Laser." The Doctor said, pushing King Tut out of the way of Terminator-Nixon's onslaught.
The Doctor took a swab of Tuts' cheek, before swinging behind the pillar, and using Venusian Akido to pacifistically beat the living crap of Terminator-Nixon.
"Alrighty, here we go, Miaki!" The Doctor cheered, activating the vortex manipulator a final time.
Chapter Six
"This was a crazy day," The Doctor said, materializing next to the TARDIS.
"Stop right there." Screamed Napoleon Boneparte. "I have blockaded your TARDIS with my armada of Zambonis! You see, in this universe, I was given Zambonis by time travelling agents and used them to conquer Britain and Russia, and now, I and my ally, Luxembourg J. Luxembourg, are going to finish you off, once and for all! And also, here's that man you tricked into thinking you were a witch earlier, he's here for revenge too! Say hi, John."
John waved somewhat uncommitedly.
The Doctor breathed heavily. "Look. I know that this whole time paradox thing has heavily benefited you, but consider the culture that I can restore when I bring it back! You have to help me, Napoleon! Because, despite how all of that Victoriana effects history negatively, you have to believe that there's some positive!"
"But our timeline has Terminator-Nixon!" Luxembourg J Luxembourg complained.
"...I... still don't understand how in any universe that could be an okay concept. It seems to me almost ridiculous. But you have to understand, Luxembourg J Luxembourg and Napoleon, you'll be saving so many peoples lives if you help out. Least of all, this one."
She pointed at the ancestor of Britain, lying on the ground, dead.
"Because even if I blame it on the TARDIS, I still feel his death is my fault. And I need to fix that."
Luxembourg J Luxembourg and Napoleon moved to the side, as the Doctor walked into the TARDIS and injected the DNA samples of Marilyn Monroe, Herman Melville, and Tutankhamen into the console. She also injected some DNA she got from Luxembourg, Napoleon, and Nixon.
"Thank you." The Doctor said, and then everything faded to white.
Epilogue
"You ever think about alternate timelines, Miaki?" Asked The Doctor, as they boarded the TARDIS. "I mean, none of that ever happened. But It also did. It so did, it super did, it was bonkers, it didn't make much sense, but it did."
"I don't know what makes a timeline alternate, I suppose. Merely our perspective." Miaki theorized.
"I know, and it's like, a lot less silly of a concept than Terminator Nixon, but...I sometimes feel like I'm not the main thing. A normal Doctor. I feel like a- spinoff. A Alternate, I suppose." The Doctor said. "I just hope I'm doing the right thing, changing that timeline so it never happened."
"I just told you! You're real to you, and you're just as valid as anyone else. And I'm certain Terminator Nixon lives on somewhere. It wouldn't be a fair multiverse if that wasn't true."
"Fair multiverse." The Doctor smiled. "You know, I have a feeling with your help, I'll figure all this out soon enough."
Brendan Gleeson as Herman Melville
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