NCBBDAS: Dreams
NCBBDAS: Dreams
Trauma Conga 2.2
Starring Brenda Blethyn, Ted Danson, Stevie Nicks and Ming Na Wen
Featuring Kathryn Hahn
Chapter One
"Wait, where are we?" Millie asked, getting up. Her face reflected about the room like a maze of mirrors.
The Doctor moved herself upright, groaning. "Ooh, me back.." She complained.
"Hello, Doctor dear." A familiar voice rang out. "We're going to play a game."
"Wonderful, it's Saw," said Millie, once again referencing something she had no knowledge of. "Truly, Doctor, you take me to the best places."
"I'm not sure it was me that brought us here, love. Where's Calvin and Fourteen?" The Doctor said, looking about. She looked more disheveled than even usual - her hat was lumpy and her overcoat was worn and wrinkled.
As the room continued to reflect about, a stream of light appeared, reflecting in and about the mirror like surface of the room, leaving color and depth behind everywhere it went. The room slowly being colored in like a paint by numbers crochet pattern of light.
The room solidified into a college lecture hall.
"Oh no." Millie said again, her head splitting. "I think this is going to be a very strange episode."
"Dreams..." The Doctor muttered in a low ground, "Poppet, what do you think it's really like...to dream? It's a very abstract concept. Some people hardly dream at all, or can't remember. Some people keep entire journals of their subconcious's incoherent thought after incoherent thought."
"Doctor, what are you trying to say?"
"Well, I'm trying to say that it was me that started this and I remember how it started, and it started with a dream." The Doctor grumbled. "A Very Long, Very Drawn Out, and Very Stupid Dream."
"Well, what dreams have either of us had about college?" Millie asked.
"It might not be our dream. Let's find Calvin and The Fourteen, they might not be doing as well as we are."
"What's up, diggity dogs, it is I, the Calvin-ster!" Calvin said, walking in, wearing a fuck ton too much of gold chains. "Honk Honk I'm a Gorilla. Zebra. Ding Dong, I'm a Cow. A Fucking Light Switch. I don't know what I am, diggity dogs, and all of those prior sentences were merely included to confuse the audience, they have no bearing whatosever."
"Calvin??" The Doctor asked. "Mate, what's with you?"
"I'm not Calvin, I'm the Calvin-ster, famous professional celebrity celebrity celebrity," The Calvin-ster explained, "Yo, what's up my diggity dogs! I don't know any other slang!"
"Calvin?" The Doctor said, waving her hands in front of his face.
"Book!" Said The Calvin-ster, bashing his head into a bookshelf.
"Look, its' in a book, it's the reading rainbow, reading rainbow!" Shrieked a woman, descending from the sky.
"I am so confused. Like, I am genuinely apathetic to this at this point, and it's been like five seconds." Millie said. "If this is trying to be funny, it's like not funny. And also me pointing that out in fact detracts any funny value that it may have had and also is sort of derailing this, as it isn't that much funny either."
"Dreaaammss, Millie," said the Woman, who was now Han Solo. "Most media utilizes dreams and uses them to foretell a narrative, but every dream you've had never has had a narrative, or any kind of rational thought. This makes real dreams very difficult to use in terms of storytelling."
The Doctor sighed. "Millie, I'm trying to be the good and non-sociopathic incarnation of The Doctor currently, but will you give me permission to slap this woman."
"Permission granted," said Millie.
The Doctor slapped the random Han Solo woman who was now an Octopus who was now a alarm clock who was now pants.
The woman solidified. "G," said the woman.
"Oh no." The Doctor realized. "Millie, this isn't just a dream, it's a fever dream!"
Chapter Two
"Last we were all together, if I recall, reality was heavily fractured, Other Me was trying to erase it. This is the last vestiges of our series, as other me is attempting to destroy it, the final curtain, as it were, and our bodies are in a strange semi-shared dream state." The Doctor explained. "It's really bloody confusing, but this...this might be the universe's self defense mechanism."
"What, dreams?"
"Dreams are the nonsense in our lives, but what if they're something more? I don't know. As usual, I am completely making this up." The Doctor sighed. "Honestly, I wish sometimes I didn't have to do so much heavy lifting in the plot area."
"cock," said the calvin-ster.
“Help me,” a Voice in the distance whispered.
“What’s that?” Millie asked.
“I think it’s the universe.”
* * *
The Fourteen floated in a pile of purple. It didn’t have any depth to it, it wasn’t glowing, she was just propelled upward by the strange hue. It didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense.
“Help me,” The Fourteen said. She wasn’t alone at the moment. She had been alone, for so long, but now there was another voice in her head again and oh dear, how she had missed that.
“Help me,” said the voice to her, to everyone. “Help me,”
And because of the novelty of something new - well, she repeated it.
Calvin appeared. “Woah! Hey, where are we? Oh, fourteen. It’s you.”
“I am no longer alone,” The Fourteen said, almost serene. “Oh, it’s so....right..”
“Look, Fourteen, something is going on! I’m not in my body anymore! Can you help me!” He said.
“Oh, huh, you aren’t in your body. How’d you learn to astral project?” The Fourteen joked, mostly because she was really nervous and quite surprised that Calvin was not in his body.
“I tried to get back - but there’s something in there! Fourteen, I need your help.” Calvin insisted.
“Oh, please, I am on your side, you don’t have to beg.” The Fourteen sighed. “Come on. Wait, can you walk? Can I walk? What’s this purple?”
“I think it’s the color purple, it looks like someone just made a purple scribble on the universe.” Calvin said. “I’m sure it’s unimportant.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t move, so, I’d assume it’s restraining purple.”
“Restraining PURPLE? Do you know how silly that sounds?”
“Look, I don’t know.” The Fourteen sighed. “I’m tired. And I think we’re probably all on drugs.”
* * *
The Doctor and Millie ran into the next room. "Fourteen! Calvin!" The Doctor exclaimed.
"Wow, that was... disconcertingly easy." Millie noted.
"Help me," The Fourteen whispered.
"Oh. Oh, oh, Oh." The Doctor said, wringing her hair. "This is...that isn't the Fourteen speaking, is it? It's one of your past selves."
"I thought you said it was the universe-"
"Quiet. This is interesting." The Doctor said, examining the Fourteen, floating in the restraining purple.
"Hi, Calvin. Why are you glowing?" Millie asked.
"I think I've left my body. Hopefully it's still in good condition when I get back." Calvin said, exceedingly calmly.
"Shut up! Shut up, everyone!" The Doctor growled. She remembered herself. "Sorry! Sorry, I need to focus!" She said apologetically. She glared into the Fourteen's eyes. "Come on, pet. Which one of you is in there..."
"It's..." The Fourteen strained. "...I don't know. I can't recognize them. They're just...begging for help." The Fourteen then snapped. In seconds, after they had been gone for so long, the personalities reeled and shook. The Six hollered out. "Kill them! Kill them all!" The One replied, "Shut up, Six! I am trying to think!" The Nine replied. "Who cares about you, One, I want nice things..." "I want to drive!" Exclaimed The Five, and The Eight wailed in despair. Within moments, the Fourteen shook in the purple, and the minds consolidated themselves again, and were gone.
"It's all of them, isn't it? After all this time...All of those minds are too much for your one brain to process. They're combined into a single begging voice." The Doctor whispered. "That's why you've been so quiet...It's your brain trying to lack activity so It can stay alive. Only here in this dreamscape are they all coming back to you."
The Fourteen nodded in pain. "Makes sense," She growled. "Now get me out of this purple."
"Only I can do that," said The Calvin-ster, walking into view. "I had hoped you wouldn't find them, Doctor. It would have been easier to trick you otherwise. But, oh well."
"Let me guess, The Dream Lady. In Calvin's body." The Doctor said.
"...Okay, yes." The Dream...Calvin...sighed. "But that would have been a lot more dramatic if I was the one to say it."
Chapter Three
"You're keeping us all here...why?" Millie asked, adversarial.
"Isn't it simple, toots? Can't you ingrates figure it out?" The Dream Calvin-ster snapped.
"I can take a guess." Calvin said in reply. "This whole thing is because of the Doctor's old self. You know the Doctor from a while back, you're probably why the Doctor's old self went cuckoo for cocoa nuts."
"Surprisingly astute," The Dream Lady replied, stepping out of Calvin's body, and now in her usual shape. "But missing a few key bits. Like the fact that I didn't really make the Doctor go crazy. I just informed her of a few future events in her sleep. Premonitions are another type of Dream."
"You're just my dark subconcious though," The Doctor whispered. "Always there. Always screaming for me to be naughty. Well, love. I'm going to fix it all. Starting with the universe, and then I'm gonna fix you."
"That so." The Dream Lady snarled. "Well, don't let me stop you. You're sitting in the dying dreams of the universe. Otherwise I wouldn't be in being, and you couldn't see me. I mean, the last few times I've messed with this, I had to climb in your head on some space pollen. The fact that I'm here alone is a sign of the end times."
The Fourteen called out. "Let me out of here, Dream Lady. I can help you. I can-" The Fourteen froze and screamed.
"Sure. I'd love a helping hand," The Dream Lady smiled slickly. "We'll start with your body."
"Fourteen, no. If she gets a time lord body, she won't be some aspect of my head, she'll be real. You can't let her-"
"Doctor, since when did I ever care about you? The Master cares about you, I certainly don't." The Fourteen growled. "As long as I'm the one that escapes a dying universe...who cares?"
"Fourteen, listen to me-"
And then there was nothing.
Chapter Four
"Wowee oh wowee hah ahahhahaa" Said The Dench Doctor, vibing in her TARDIS, looking at the heat death of the Blethyn Doctor's universe. Which was also her universe. Just, you know. In the future.
"Oh, hello, Doctor." Todd said, walking over to the Doctor, gazing at the universe through the open doors of the TARDIS.
"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Todd," The Dench Doctor said, hyper as fuck. "I haven't seen you in a while."
"Yeah, you did the last two parter without me for some reason." Todd said amiably. "Have you seen Roman?"
Roman walked in, his eyes a cartoonish hypnotic swirl. "Hello yes it is me Roman i am definitely not mindcontrolled by the Doctor whatsoever," he said, in a blissed slur.
"Oh, that's good." Todd replied, too polite to really examine this closely.
"Indeed, I categorically deny that any mind control whatsoever is going on, I just think that the Doctor is super duper great and I would never criticize her under any situation."
The Dench Doctor smiled. "Isn't he super great? Anyway, I think we're going to do an anthology release next episode."
"What."
"Oh yeah, four stories tied together by a theme, each by a different writer."
"Woah, that sounds super cool." Todd said.
The Blethyn Doctor, Millie, and Calvin, still a floating ghost thing smashed into the TARDIS console from a vortex that came out of nowhere.
Alarms blared.
To Be Continued...
This Story (Hypothetically) Starred
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