(MAIN RANGE): The Roman Discrepancy
(MAIN RANGE): The Roman Discrepancy
Gallifrey
VFX: Subject begins to speak. He grumbles in a low tone. It is difficult to tell what he is saying. Further instances of sound effects will be inscribed for the reader, as the original tapes have been lost to the archives.
"For the benefit of the tape, could you please speak up?"
"Yes? Mm, Yes? Ah. Hello, there. I was wondering where exactly I was."
"Gallifrey has used a time-scoop. You are in the private offices of the CIA. I am the Coordinator."
"Hm? Ah, well, yes, that's very good for you. They call me Roman, pleased to meet you."
"You are the Time Lord Romanadvoratrelundar, with the Aliases, Romana, Roman, and Fred?"
"Yes. That's me. I must, say, what is with this whole thing going on here? Why have I been brought here? Time Scoops are very dangerous devices, and ones the time lords rarely if ever stoop to."
VFX: The ruffling of something like paper shuffles gently in the background. This is concerning, as any Gallifreyan will know, the CIA does not use paper. Cause unknown.
"Time Lord Romanavoratrelundar, one of your incarnations has been charged with- "
VFX: Errors in the script from this point on abound. Usually if always hiding key information. As if something in this tape was censored by Gallifreyan High Command and covered up. Resume Recording.
"Oh. Well, you can rest assured it's not me, dear fellow. I have scruples."
"Mr. Romanadvoratrelundar, No Time Lord has scruples. I have been assigned to work on your timeline reconstruction. You, are as of our scans, the most recent body of the time lord Romanadvora-"
"I'll stop you right there. This is my Eighth body. No timeline reconstruction is needed."
"That doesn't compute with our files. Please explain."
"I am a natural-born master of facial reconstruction via regenerative energy. I am capable of changing my face at a whim, using up only a minor amount of regenerative energy. I can change it to my hearts's desire, giving me more faces than I have bodies. I have only actually regenerated on a few occasions."
"Your ability is well-documented. This does still not compute with our files."
"My regenerations go as follows. Brown Haired One in White Dress who was bossy. Yellow Haired One who looked like Princess Astra- It took me a while to decide on that one... - "
"Stop. This data is incorrect. We will take a brief recess."
"If you know this data, why are you asking me?"
VFX: Static buzzing grows, obscuring conversation until recording is clicked off.
* * *
VFX; New Recording. It was found in the same file. It is even more corrupted than the previous recording
Personal Log, Coordinator.
Alright, if well, future generations may look at this, I may as well explain. Coordinator is not my actual title. My name is , and I am a Time Lord intern for the CIA. This is my final assignment for the year, I've been given a subject, and a simple task to interview him. My instructor describes it as childs play. That he's never seen an intern fail at the task before. Well, he sure does have a shitstorm ahead of him.
The thing is Roman, Romana, whatever, they have the most complicated timestream I've ever seen put to record. They have an average of major incursions per era, doubling either during their time in the presidency or with the Doctor. My professor analyzed the Doctor's timestream in class once, saying that we'd never see a more complicated one, and if you could understand this, you'd understand anything. Well, the Doctor has an average of major incursions per era. Romana has Twice That!
Come on! I don't get how this makes an iota of sense. I don't think the scanner logged that this is a former president. There's no way they would have given me this assignment if they actually knew the number of Romana's incarnations. It's hilarious. Is this spite? Does the instructor hate me that much? I swear, it doesn't make any sense. The trouble begins with knowing where the regenerations begin and end. Obviously, Roman, Romana, whatever, they can change their face at will. That computes. They have the strongest classification of ability at regeneration on record. But this falls apart when you look at the shape of the bodies. Or the heights.
It's clearly not the same body, and yet, Romana can try on new bodies like clothes on whatever day they please. It caused a few scuffles during the presidency when she wanted to try some new faces, such as the Event.
The problem begins to solidify during the Doctor's description of her second regeneration. It's utter bollocks. There's no way she should be able to shuffle through bodies like that, even a master of facial regeneration... At least the Doctor is the Timeless
But if gets HILARIOUS when you reach body number three. At least body number three by Roman's admission. Most of the files concerning this regeneration are classified- but from what I can make out- She's from a completely alternate timeline, and the cause of the regeneration itself was averted. And Romana doesn't regenerate into her at all anymore.How are events like still covered up? This regeneration is everywhere- even at the Kennedy assassination on Earth- but according to our files, she doesn't exist.
The Roman that travelled with the Doctor's Twenty Sixth Incarnation Once changed his face into that of Earth Celebrity Sean Connery as a joke. For a grand total of two minutes.
There are seventeen seperate incursion files involving this incarnation of Romana. Yet another that shouldn't exist.
"Where were you at the time? What body?"
"I was in the library, with Mrs. Scarlett and the candlestick."
"Don't be flippant with me."
"Oh, coordinator, please. Flippancy is a defense mechanism, one I learned since I was thrown out on the street, as a child."
"Were you?"
"No."
VFX: Subject stops for about thirty seconds. Inscribed note states that she is adjusting her long curly black hair.
"Exactly. That's what I'd like you to explain."
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