The Paternoster Gang Heritage Two

The Paternoster Gang Heritage Two

Okay, so here's the problem with these anthology sets. I like typing up these things at the start about things that tie into all the stories in the set and my opinions on those aspects, my perspective going in, etc. But with three monster of the week episodes, I really can't do that. I don't have stuff to say here in this slot. It's just, really not anything I can elaborate on. These are three stories. They have nothing to do with each other. I could go on about how that's a problem in of itself, and this series really could do with recurring characters, to make it feel, like, well, a series, and not just when the show up on TV in those Paternoster Gang TV episodes that are just Doctor Who but sometimes the Doctor has less lines or is not there. But honestly? I think I slag off this set enough in the reviews itself, so I think that we can get to it. 

 Dining with Death by Dan Starkey 

Dan Starkey usually pulls in an excellent script for Big Finish, and although somehow I do feel this is one of his lesser efforts (to be fair, The Bad Penny and Terror of the Sontarans make most scripts pale in comparison) it's still probably the best Paternoster story so far. Perhaps that is an insult to the previous scripts though, as despite Dining With Death being good, it's not amazing. And it's only barely above the stories in Heritage One, if it even is at all, it really feels they haven't learned much. This week we're dealing with some QUIRKY alien races with voice distorters that I feel have already been used by Big Finish eighty times (as a matter of fact, I can say exactly what they sound like, the infinitely more memorable Cantorn Horde from Donna Noble Kidnapped) and these two fictional races have a disagreement, and so our trio must mediate. It's not a concept that really inspires, but it's given a lot of flair, and Dan Starkey to no surprise writes Strax very well. He understands the character, and the gags with him in this episode especially actually work. Vastra gets a few awesome moments too, but ultimately, I felt due to the nature of the plot, Jenny was lost in the hassle. It's ultimately a good comedy piece, but by the time that Vastra unveils Strax's nature I thought that it was kind of winding down and then it went on for twenty more minutes. Would have probably have been higher without it kind of rambling on like that, as the opening of the piece is so strong! Alas. 7/10

The Screaming Ceiling by Guy Adams

A magnificent mindscrew with not only an exceedingly verbose narrator but an unreliable one, The Screaming Ceiling is exactly the dose of originality this series needed. It's a bit of a celebrity historical, if you can call it that, starring Fictional Character Thomas Carnacki. I have absolutely no knowledge on this character whatsoever beyond that which is in this audio, indeed, I wasn't even aware he was fictional until I looked him up, but his presence elevated the series miles above what it usually amounts to. There's a balance to them here beyond what you can usually find, and it gives the trio a really magnificent little vibe to them. I've always appreciated the absurdity of the Paternoster Gang being off-played against the Victorian perspective, which can make having them as the main characters of a series actively challenging. With this story playing them off of a more stereotypical british figure who is the main perspective of the piece (indeed, this is a rare "full cast" audio story with a narrator involved) this adds a magnificent level of comedy to it. Although the best part of this story is it's ideas, it's ambitiousness, and the fact that there really isn't much else like it. Part of the flaw of the Paternoster Gang on audio could be the lack of ambition to it, and the Screaming Ceiling more than makes up for that, overflowing with brilliant ideas - hell, the basic concept of a mouth on a ceiling may seem uninspired until you hear Adams' reasoning for it in universe - that it's a shapeshifting life form that is so confused by life on earth that it can't tell the difference between a human and a house, it's perspective is so alien. That's phenomenal. And it's just one idea in this wild, fabulous romp - I've liked the series up til this point, to be sure, but the Screaming Ceiling's very existence only serves to make the rest of the series look bad: any range from Big Finish would be happy to have a tale like this in their collection. 10/10 

Spring Heeled Jack by Gemma Arrowsmith

Ignoring the fact that Spring Heeled Jack was actually already a main character in the Bernice Summerfield audios that Big Finish themselves wrote and so this story's very existence creates a weird as hell continuity snarl that could be easily avoided... Uh yeah Spring Heeled Jack is fine. It's nothing at all like I would do, if I were given the assignment to write a story about this fascinating real-life myth of Victorian London, and to be honest, this works for both it's benefit and it's detriment. I guess Big Finish couldn't keep themselves away from the idea, and I don't know why, as in constrast with The Screaming Ceiling's absolutely brilliant overflowing with ideas atmosphere, Spring Heeled Jack really doesn't have much outside the ordinary Paternoster Gang episode, and this would be fine if the entire first set and also Dining With Death weren't already really really like this. You can have filler episodes while establishing a series, but two sets in, and Paternoster Gang doesn't feel like a series with it's own identity yet, which is heavily disappointing. The series doesn't have recurring characters - it could really do with a recurring Policeman to help ease the plot's exposition each episode - it doesn't have an arc or evolving characterization to keep the audience hooked... I mean, you can certainly do episodes of the week, just look at how well the Ninth and Tenth Doctor Adventures tend to handle that, but it is slightly stranger when this is advertised as a "season" of "twelve episodes" and six episodes in there isn't any season plot. I appreciate Spring Heeled Jack for about two reasons - it has the gang as a very efficient and well-oiled unit, they work together well and I see why they work together, even if the plot is a bit crud, you can really see the trio work at the crud plot together and work well together in an extent that wasn't in previous episodes. The second reason is it pulls a very nice twist later on that really does solidify it above an average episode, but the random side characters aren't engrossing enough to really make it work. This episode could do with a lot more atmosphere and horror, Spring Heeled Jack is a fascinating and honestly rather scary yet utterly strange myth. Like, it is one of those things that makes you wonder....how'd that get started? and the fact that this plays out like a normal episode where everything is usual is a bit drab. The series could do with a lot more atmosphere at this point. As it is, this episode is bog-standard, but it's got more than most bog-standard - Vastra climbs a fucking Clock Tower, so I can't help but be at the very least, throughout this mess of a series, well, entertained. 7/10 

I don't expect much from The Paternoster Gang at this point, and I know it's probably wrong of me to even consider doing so, but if the next two sets maintain this level of quality, I - well, I don't want to be mean, but I can see why they haven't commissioned more. This series needs so much more than "Doctor Who but it's only in Victorian London and with very basic ideas." But who knows? This set surprised me a lot with the Screaming Ceiling, which was probably worth the admission price, so I'm definitely looking forward to the next. And besides, I really did save this for last, because guess what, they ACTUALLY FIXED THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE PREVIOUS SET in this set already! Strax is a lot less annoying throughout than he is in Heritage One. He is not obnoxious! He is funny! I am actually happy with it and everything, Pretty much all his gags hit! I know! I'm so surprised, I really am, it's a very good sign! And so, I'd like to close out on that note, because, You know what? There actually really, is somehow, genuine hope for the future.